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Wednesday, February 6th, 2008
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1:12 am - its been a while...
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...so i thought i would type a bit before getting offline.
1. i live in roddey now. i love it. i hardly ever have to see bitchface anymore. its fabulous!!!
2. im having a really good time in general. im close to all of my friends and it feels nice.
3. jeremiah and i are great. i cant imagine being without him. the wedding is five months from now. crazy, but more amazing than i thought possible.
4. the wedding plans are going. i need to order invites soon. but weve done most everything. all we need to do (of the major stuff) is order flowers, find a photographer, and oder and mail the invites. seems do-able.
5. right now, i think i pretty much win at life.
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| Monday, November 5th, 2007
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1:57 pm - feeling nervous/ tryin to be so perfect/ cuz i know youre worth it
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1. going for bridesmaid dresses this weekend. it is bound to be the best time ever!
2. i need to be studying for russian history. however, i am not :(
3. i like group outings.
4. i like honesty and open, clean air.
5. i had the date set for the wedding, and now my mother wants to change it. it makes me unhappy. she already made me change the venue...i guess we shall soon see who will win this debate.
6. im off the desk now...so im going to cut this short.
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| Friday, October 19th, 2007
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4:44 am - just some random thoughts that come to mind...
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I havent made lists in a while. but, since im working for two and a half more hours, now seems like as good a time as any to start back up.
1. im not sure if we are friends. weve known each other for almost three years, and talk a lot, but i dont think we are more than acquaintances. id like that to be different, but thats not up to me.
2. im soooo sooo sooo ready to leave lee wicker. im just not happy here, and its starting to affect my spirit (i know that sounds lame). but its dark and depressing in here, and it makes me feel sad. i spend as little time in this building as possible, so i might as well move out.
3. even if i dont get roddey or courtyard, im moving out of this building for next semester. i dont care if i lose my ra job, i cant live here anymore.
4. i think you are wonderful. i know im bitchy, but you love me anyway. thanks.
5. classes are actually okay...im going to do really well this semester.
6. im tired of drama, but at this point, i thrive on gossip. its a love hate relationship right now.
7.im pretty much sure im quitting being a security assistant really soon. its too much of a drain.
8. is it 7:30 yet? ugh.
9. jeremiah and i might have an engagement party now. i think it sounds like fun. i need a get-together.
i think thats it for now, but more might come later...
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| Friday, September 14th, 2007
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6:35 am - planet unicorn, heyyy!
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so. ive been working all night, and finally decided to post. nobody reads this, so its really for me, i guess. doesnt matter...as long as i stay awake.
the semester thus far:
i decided to take a light class load, so that i could have enough credits to stretch out over my remainder at winthrop. if i werent an education minor, i could graduate in may. i learned this in the summer, and it pissed me off grandly. but...i guess theres not much else i can do except piss and moan about. but ill stop that now. my favorite class is my hardest class, russian history. i tend to do the best on all the quizzes, because i actually read the book. its a rad concept, but hey! it works. my gandhi class is okay...i really like when we have discussions. gandhi was a strange little man. i dont so much like my other classes, but i suppose they are necessary.
the working semester:
on paper, i work about 30 hours a week. in reality, its a lot more than that. my ra job is basically a 24/7 thing, so it keeps me busy all the freaking time. when im not doing that, im either working desk staff, being a security assistant, or peer ministering. im feeling the need for a vacation. somewhere peaceful, quiet, and relaxing. maybe a mountain trip. i think that would be glorious. however, i know thats not going to happen for a loooooooong time. speaking of, the honeymoon should be delightful. we are going on a cruise to belize, belize city, mexico, and back to fort lauderdale. im really excited. we booked it last weekend.
wedding:
ive picked out my wedding party and bridesmaids dresses. the dresses are a dark greenish color and will be matched with white flowers. jeremiah is still deciding who he should pick for the last guy, but he has plenty of time, and its not my thing, so im not worried. this evening, my mom is coming to rock hill to spend the night so we can go dress shopping on saturday.im really really excited. im going to wear it everyday for a year after i get it. but not really, though. im ready for next summer to roll around. i mean, i have a lot of work to do before then, but im anxious for jeremiah and my life together to start. gosh...im such a girl!
ive been really busy, and so has jeremiah. i miss him a lot. when i do get to spend time with him, i am really truly happy. thats something i havent been all semester. i treasure those moments, and thank him for them everyday.
im tired and my shift is almost over...38 mins to go! that means that 7 hours and 22 minutes are down. i win at life!
current mood:  tired
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| Tuesday, June 19th, 2007
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3:00 am - Dr. Aradas
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i just wanted to post that i heard a rumor about dr. aradas.
for those of you who dont know, aradas is only the most amazing professor in not only the history department, but the whole of winthrop. anyhow, i heard he was fired for his alternative teaching methods, and was only contracted for like one more semester. naturally, im upset.
i would love if someone could counter this rumor. kthanksbyebye!
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| Sunday, June 17th, 2007
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6:09 am - Im sick of following my dreams Im just going to ask them where theyre goin and hook up with em later
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| Monday, June 11th, 2007
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4:15 pm - Like Harrison Ford I'm getting frantic/ Like Sting I'm tantric/ Like Snickers, guaranteed to satisfy
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Summer Life:
1. im tired a lot, because of the whole working nights thing. its a crap job, but i get paid more than minimum wage and i get free housing while doing a whole lotta nothing.
2. im getting in touch with great music, like beastie boys, barenaked ladies, and aqua again. because they rock more hxc than anybodys mother.
3. im tired of people constantly wanting me to start the wedding plans. its more than a year away. i think i have a few minutes to take off. i mean, please.
4. ive blocked like half of my buddy list because i like the whole recluse-ish thing. no offense to people, but i enjoy having a little time to myself.
5. im trying to avoid this girl who i was "friends" with a long long time ago. i havent seen her in like five years, but she keeps hinting to be in the wedding. like today for instance:
me: "i dont think i want many bridesmaids, just family and close close friends, so as to not hurt feelings."
her: "dont you want one more?"
i know i sound mean, but i want things to stay small. sorry that i dont want people i havent seen or heard from in half a decade to invite themselves into the wedding party. im a bitch. i know.
6. i like sarahs new boyfriend. i think they fit really well. the six of us (sarah, troy, morgan, joe, jeremiah, and i) should do things more often.
7. im having fumn helping erin and cameron move. gives me stuff to do during the day, and allows mw to spend time with the family.
8. matt, thomas, ronald, and i need to hang out this week. please. now. thanks.
9. my classes are fairly simple so far. woot for that.
10. i think im done now. kthanksbyebye.
11. i remembered. if you are in the rock thrill area, get in touch if you would like to hang. ok. now im done.
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| Saturday, May 19th, 2007
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6:45 pm - hah!
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| Sunday, May 13th, 2007
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12:09 am - happity times ♥
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yeah...im happy!
jeremiah proposed friday...it was really really perfect.
things are great!
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| Tuesday, April 17th, 2007
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3:46 am - im too clever for my own good...damn it!
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i just wanted to let the people of the world know that i feel...pretty nice.
i fell and tore some muscles in my back (long story short, it was raining, there were marble stairs, and i ended up pulling a smart person).
they gave a muscle relaxer and pain pills. i cant talk coherently and i cant feel much.
i have a lot of work to do. and its really hard right now. you try writing a seven page paper while youre off in la-la land and see how well you do!
im glad i feel to nice to care right now...
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| Wednesday, March 28th, 2007
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5:08 pm - the random update of no particular time period
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time is so short. there should be at least one more hour per day. id be happy. aside from tests, the paper for history 500 is going to kill me. the projects for history 550 are going to kill me. family worries are going to kill me. health issues are going to kill me. basically, my time is limited. i realize this.
in the past month, my grandfather's twin sister passed away, my moms twin sister had to have two emergency surgeries (but shes better now), i got a cold, and told by my doctor that i might have cancer. the hardest part is waiting to find out.
not much good has happened. im still waiting for the silver lining of my cloudy day. still waiting. probably going to be here a while.
the brightest part of this whole ordeal has been jeremiah. i couldnt ask for a better friend. i dont say boyfriend, because i think when you love someone, you dont constantly have to remind everyone of your status. he knows everything about everything thats going on, and that makes him too wonderful for words. theres a saying that goes something like: "when the romance has gone away from your relationship, you can still have joy in the fact that you have a relationship with your best friend." thats what its coming to with us. and for him, i am so happy.
well, i know yall dont want to be bored anymore so...bye.
...................................................................................
figures a and b (means you and me)
hellogoodbye
present for a presentation presented presently
theres no i in team no me in us no you in we
i'll write down letters inside letters but i cant let her see
pass them forward with a foreword they wont mean a thing
treasure torn out paper from the corner of a page
measure worn out epigrams for signs of change with age
figure out that figuratives mark figure a and b
images i imagened with pretty imagery (means you and me)
(you and me) we could be made for this
(just wait and see) we might be made for this
its so far away but ive planned a date
and thats at least a start to get inside your heart
it might be you and me oh we could be a team
it might be you and me oh just wait and see
(you and me) we could be made for this
(just wait and see) we might be made for this
current mood:  indescribable
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| Thursday, February 22nd, 2007
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5:39 pm - hot minture update
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so...lately...i dyed my hair back to red. i like it a lot. other people told me that it looks really good. therefore, the general conclusion is that it is the shiz-nat.
i cant help feeling a little bit depressed. i guess its just that time of year. i cant help thinking about people from the past who i dont really have the same connection i used to have with. i find myself wondering what it would be like if that stuff hadnt changed. i guess its for the best that everything that happened happened, but i cant help but think of the "what ifs." i guess everybody gets like that every once in a while.
i hate it when people walk past you and dont act like they saw you when its blatently obvious that they did. youre left sitting/ standing there...feeling like the awkward turkey. but at least sometimes, they are ready to see you and act as such.
i have great friends. i like them a lot. we should hang out more. im sorry ive been super busy.
ima go now. byebye.
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| Wednesday, February 7th, 2007
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1:52 pm - so sound so even-handed/ Don't be so damn benign/ and don't waste my fucking time
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i got elbowed in the mouth on accident. now i have a split on my lip. it kinda hurts.
i have some kind of sinus funk. its gross.
other than that, im wicked cool.
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| Monday, January 29th, 2007
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5:28 pm - i can hardly catch my breath...i hope it lasts
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i resolved my issues. i feel better. and i saw lisa lampanelli last night. it was hilarious. i like a woman who can be so unoffensive by making fun of everybody. i once heard somebody say "i dont discriminate. i hate everybody the same." that pretty muc hsums her up. except her thing for black men...hehe.
so im officially going to nyc for spring break! yay for cheap trips! im excited im at least seeing "rent" or "phantom of the opera" on broadway. im not sure which. i want to see either "wicked" or "avenue q" as well. but i dont know if thats going to happen or not.
speaking of, i saw "rent" in columbia thursday. best night of my life ever. the company did a really good job with it.i was most mighty impressed. after the show ended, a guy got up on stage and proposed to his girlfriend. it was so sweet! i was with my two best friends, alex and patrick, and they were like "why are you crying, dumbass?" and i was like "sometimes, i have to remind you guys that im female!" .:.sigh.:.
ok. byebye now.
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| Friday, January 19th, 2007
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2:25 pm - nothing seems to matter when the world ends...
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i think about myself a lot. i usually like to say that im not self centered, and i care about people and the world and the environment and the well-being of people i dont know. but in the past few days, ive realized that my problems arent really that bad. i mean, i have things (well, one thing, really) that i need to tell somebody, and that people have done me wrong, and that i dont like everyody i pretend to. i also see that i have done others wrong, said things that were inappropriate, and been down right nasty to people i dont like. for all those bad things, im sorry. i apologize. i dont want the whole "im trying to be the bigger person" deal, i just want clear air. i want to finally grow up, and be the woman i should be.
things dont really matter as much as we think they do. he thinks she looks good. she kissed him. he had sex with her. she called her a "whore." he lied to her. she spent the night with him. he played with her emotions. those are all things we talk about daily. THEY REALLY DONT MATTER! when we stand back to look at the bigger issues, they seem meaningless. i dont want to focs on that anymore. a few days ago, a very good friend of mine lost her dad. he had been sick for a while, but seemed to be getting better. she came back to school, and he took a turn for the worse. he passed away very shortly after that. thats the kind of things people should be upset over. i dont know what i would do if i lost my dad. he pretty much means the world to me. hes always been there for me, and i love him dearly. i know i dont tell him that enough.
so. from now on, im gonna say that im not gonna sweat the small stuff. im going to appreciate my time with people. im going to apologize more and watch my tongue. im going to stop talking about people. im going to resolve to be happy with what i have, and be greatful for everything ive been given.
thats about the end.
current mood:  determined
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| Wednesday, January 3rd, 2007
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12:12 am - obligatory new years' post
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the chance to be unfaithful seems to be everywhere. we see it on tv. we read about it in books and the newspaper. i dont see the point in it, really. take this break we were on. i was out with a friend of mine and some of their freinds. a good time was happening. then, one of her male friends, starts flirting with me. now, i dont think im attractive or understand why others might be fooled into thinking this, so naturally, i acted kind of schocked. i suppose i could have pushed him off and body slammed him, but i didnt and i digress. anyway, later that night, he said that he thought all he had to do was ask me and i would sleep with him. the nerve! i didnt even flirt with him...i was even sort of mean to him. i told him that i had a boyfriend, and that his statement was completely inappropriate. however, it did put the seed of doubt into my mind. is there someone else who finds me attractive enough to date me? does anybody really find me attractive, or do they just want sex or something like it? will i ever find somebody that loves me for me, not because of what i can do or how i look?
i think the answer will only be answered in time. i will continue to have a low self image, and that cant be helped. however, for now at least, but hopefully for a long time to come, i have somebody who calls me beautiful everytime i answer a phone call or he calls me. for now i have someone who talks to me and listens to what i have to say back. i have somebody who knows i will never give up the "im fat" argument, but will never let me win. i have somebody who claims they love me. and you know, thats good enough for me.
i will always remain faithful. i have never cheated on anyone. i may have somethings in my past that im not too terribly proud of, but at least i know that im doing right in my present, and will continue to do right in the future.
current mood: tired
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| Friday, November 17th, 2006
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11:50 pm - safe, safe, safe, and secure from all alarms...
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so i havent posted in a while...nobodys noticed...its been great. i have been sick since wednesday. i left my room thursday to do my walk throughs and such, but other than that, ive been room bound. i wasnt sure what it was for a while, but now i know it to be called food poisoning. it sucks. i dont think ive ever been this sick. its really ridiculous. im now at the desk for the first time in three days, because candy needed me for a hot second. i am feeling so ill right now, i prbably shouldnt be in public. ugh. its gross. i hate illness, and i havent been able to eat for three days...it blows. my parents are worried about me too. they are driving up to come and check on me, because i dont normally get sick, and when i do, it never lasts this long. i need a break. when is thanksgiving again?!?!
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| Wednesday, October 25th, 2006
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7:27 pm - theres a fine fine line between a lover and a friend.
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things happen in life that we cannot change. things dont always work out the way we planned. everything works out the way it works for a reason. in the end, it will all be for the better. the only thing to do is live without regrets, own up to mistakes, and look towards the future.
current mood:  nerdy
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| Tuesday, October 17th, 2006
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8:31 am
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this fall break was so much better than last year. why? well, because i can walk today, and last year this time, i could not. last years car accident was a big event in my life that taught me to count my blessings and cherish those around me. this year, i was thinking about it a lot. i went to highlands and partied some, and spent time with both of my families. what if i hadnt had that chance? what if i died when i was supposed to? would anyone really care or miss me or even think about me a year later? i think about all the people i wouldnt have known, the things i never would have experienced, and the chances i would never take.
i think it might be time to put caution to the wind, because life is too short to be conservative. im going to choose to live vicariously through myself. i will never miss the chance to laugh, joke, cry, smile, sing, dance, love, hug, kiss, or anything else. it is officially time for me to be my crazy self. bam!
current mood:  happy
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| Monday, October 2nd, 2006
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1:03 pm - anna, please get off the phone now/its time to let you know now/how much you mean to me
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life is very odd at times. somedays go your way, somedays are days you wish never happened. more so lately, there have been more good than bad. i know that hasnt happened much lately, but its a nice change. i think im usually the type of person who avoids real happiness to avoid real pain. lately, ive been more sporadic and fee in that respect. ive allowed myself to feel happy, and i really quite like it.
and people have commented on how my laugh is different. its a lot more hearty now...thats real laughter for you!
depression usually settles on me like an elephant placed on my shoulders right now, its nowhere in sight. im keeping my fingers crossed that the past is in the past and wont come back to get me. and as the old saying goes, "if you dont learn from the past, then youre doomed to repeat it." i think that ive finally heeded that wisdom and sunny days are coming soon.
oh. and good charlotte, reggie and the full effect, sarah von trapp, and morgan buell are currently rocking my socks. the end.
current mood: happy
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